Excuses. We all use them. Justifying why we do what we do. We can say to ourselves:
It’s not really our fault, if A,B, & C would do D,E,&F things would be different.
I am sorry to say that is not how life works. Our life is how it is because of the decisions that we make. Sometimes we make good decisions and sometimes our decisions are not so great. It’s ok to make a bad decision as long as we learn from the mistakes that we make. For example: If we spend our rent money on a trip to the mall. That’s a bad decision. Now for the next month, you have to struggle to make up that money. You are behind on a bill for a pair of jeans that you will probably not love as much in a few weeks or months. The next month you make sure to pay your rent as soon as its due. That is how we are taking a bad decision and turning it into a lesson learned.
I have made many bad decisions. When it comes to trusting people, how I spend my money, and even who I decided to have children with. I do not regret any of the decisions that I have made. Those choices have made me the person that I am today. I absolutely adore my children and am so blessed that they were given to me. Through those bad choices I have learned so much and have grown as well. I now am more careful in whom I allow into my life and the lives of my children. Through many years of therapy (mostly in the area of domestic violence) I have learned what to look for in choosing a mate, and in choosing friends. I know what “red flags” to look for. I have learned how to be assertive and not aggressive, and I have also learned that not everyone is ready to hear the truth that I am willing to share with them. I have learned to forgive those who have hurt me in so many ways. I have learned that forgiveness if more for me, than the person that I am forgiving. I have learned to not allow my abuser and those who have hurt me in my past to live “rent free” in my head. I am in the process of “evicting” all of the negatives in my life including people and habits.
By effectively “evicting” the negative in my life, I am allowing so much room for positive people and events. I am creating lifelong friends for not only myself, but for my children as well. I am making a world for myself that only includes positive people that have similar life goals as myself. We will help each other grow, and we will be there for each other in times of need. That is what life to me is really about. Surrounding yourself and your family with others that are going in the same direction as you are.