A plea to a Judge. Please stop her from being abused

I was reading a post from Deliberate Donkey a few days ago where she mentioned that her Abusive soon to be ex-husband was going to ask the Judge to force this wonderfully helpful woman to shut down her blog because she is “harassing” him through it.  When I read that, I wanted to attack. I offered to write a letter to the Judge for her and this is what I came up with.


Your Honor,

  My name is Abby and I am a survivor of horrific Domestic Abuse. It is not alleged abuse, it is proven abuse through images and a conviction for my abuser (who is currently in NJ State Prison). I was lucky enough to be able to have charges filed so that NO ONE can ever say I mistook my abusers actions for something other than Domestic Violence. I do not know you, you do not know me, however, I felt compelled to write you a letter because of the case you are hearing today.

    My healing has been slow and hard, and I know I will never be the same woman or mother that I was before the abuse. One of the many ways I have been able to heal is through talking about my abuse (sometimes positive and sometimes negative).  Another way I have been able to heal is by connecting with other women than have gone through similar situations as me.  One of the best forums I have been able to be a part of is Melanie’s blog-Deliberate Donkey. This woman (that I have never met) understands me, my situation, and has given my abuse a voice.  I can not only relate to her experience , she gives us survivors and current victims a VOICE. She shares our stories and we can all start and continue to heal together. She makes me laugh, she makes me cry, and she is a GIFT to anyone who reads her blog.

    It is my understanding that there is a party that is attempting to shut this amazing forum down. It is my understanding that this person on HIS own has seeked out this forum and is attempting to continue his abuse and is using you as his vehicle. I can not give you his name, as I do not know what it is. I do not know his identity other than seeing so many of the same characteristics that were in my abuser.  Please do not let him continue to try and control who she is and what she has been through. I beg and plead with you to KEEP THIS FORUM ONLINE. I have shared this with many of the woman I was in therapy with. It is a safe place for us to speak about our abuse, and it is a safe place for us to share our stories.

   Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you take this woman’s journey and struggles into consideration.

   A survivor,



I am not sure if this will even get to the judge but I had to try and help any way possible.

   If our voices are loud enough, they CAN NOT ignore us any longer.

                                                                                    -Abby B—-

Love does not hurt. Stop Domestic Violence


26 thoughts on “A plea to a Judge. Please stop her from being abused

  1. You are an amazing friend, supporter, survivor and voice Abby. It takes a lot to take the time to write a letter. I hope the judge does read it and reads the very important point you made that her abuser is still trying to control her life. Good job!

    • Thanks so much! We need to support each other in any way possible. If not us, then who? I would do it for anyone that needed it and I would do it every day if it meant one more person living without abuse! No one deserves to live like that…

    • I bet it would help-i mean I dont know this judge but how can you force someone to stop something when it is truly helping others? just my humble opinion! Thanks for reading!

    • Thanks so much! I just cant sit back and watch these abusers use the court system to continue the abuse. Its sick that they do it and its disgusting that the judges allow it to happen. They need to realize that just because an abused person does not have a black eye the abuse is not occuring….

  2. Sorry to hear yet another story of abuse. I am glad you escaped. Melanie’s ex seems to be slicker then most abusers. He is cunning and calculated. I have expressed that possibly the judge was an abuser to. I am curious how many DV cases Judge Craig has ever presided over. If he has heard DV cases my question is how many times did he rule to convict/punish the abuser.

    • THAT is a great question. It would be interesting to see how that inquiry would turn out…I believe that many of the people in charge that make these decisions themselves are abusers. I remember a story in a town that I lived in that the wife of the Mayor was being hit and she had to call the state troopers because NONE of the local pds (in that town and in the few towns over) would come to even investigate….disgusting behavior…

      • I don’t know whats worse-that it happens or that I’m not surprised that it happens. My abusers aunt is the Mayor in the town I lived in and she REFUSED to even see me-she does not want to be associated with a person with a felony (he is notorious)….With great power comes great responsibility….Now if these people would just use it for the RIGHT reasons!

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