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Because I am a felon

Because I am a felon I rarely get a second interview

Because I am a felon I always get a traffic ticket

Because I am a felon I was not able to vote in the last presidential election

Because I am a felon I am unable to get a firearm license to protect my family from my abuser

Because I am a felon I can not get help from some agencies

Because I am a felon, I have to always explain myself and be ashamed of my past

BUT

Because I am a felon  I am able to understand where you are coming from

Because I am a felon I am able to be more understanding

Because I am a felon I am able to understand how hard it is to be seen for who you are not what you have been accused of

Because I am a felon I am able to speak to my children honestly about being safe and who to trust and when to leave

Because I am a felon I am stronger and I know what mistakes to never make again

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17 thoughts on “Because I am a felon

  1. Abby, I heart you 🙂 … because you are you. You are in a unique position to share amounts of compassion and understanding that so many will unfortunately never know. I am sorry you have had to go through the things you have endured, but you are a strong, bold woman who loves her children, and I adore you. You are someone’s sunshine. Maybe, just maybe, you a little bit of mine 🙂

    • and you made me cry! I heart you back…this has been a tough time and you always know how to make me feel better. I was back and forth about this post…bc many do not know about my background,BUT i do feel better putting it out there….

      • My dear, sweet friend, you have ended up in this situation because of things that were out of your control. Things that were forced upon you, often brutally so. Until one has walked in your shoes and shared your experiences, they have no place to even think of judging you. Don’t focus on or worry about what others think or say. I know this is easier said than done, but only YOU know how difficult it was to be in your situation, and only YOU felt the fear and sadness and desperation and pain and emptiness and isolation and suffering. And do you know what? You are the kind, compassionate, giving, loving woman that stands before us all not as a victim. Not as a felon. As an example of encouragement to the rest of us that when things were so bad for you, you had enough love for yourself and your children to stand up demand better for yourself. You are an example of strength, perseverance, and dignity. And if some people are short-sighted enough to miss this, I pity them, for they are missing out on someone wonderful.

        You have owned that past, girl. And you went on to take back your future. Love you!

  2. Yeah!! What she said! Sometimes I miss the before the crazy (if there ever really was a before) but you are right. There is so much to learn from going through these things and having judgment thrust on you from people who can only see in black and white. How boring, how uninspired, and how IGNORANT. Pain is the swiftest teacher and the most incredible and beautiful lesson it can teach you is compassion. I count you as one of my elephants : )

    • I am PROUD to be part of your herd….I am so very lucky to have found so many of you on this wonderful blogosphere…its amazing that so many people that I have never “met” can be such a wonderful support system when so many in the physical every day just keep it moving….

  3. Happy New Year, this is so true, when I was charged with 12 felonies at one time I was shocked. I literally passed out in the court room. My life raced through my head and I shook for days. I never thought I could overcome it and was in fear of spending decades in prison. Thankfully that did not happen, I spent only 30 days in jail and another 90 days in a restitution center. After I was released I had 10 years of probation and $15,000 in restitution. And then came the gun charge . I blogged about it in November of 2012. What a nightmare. It makes us stronger and we both overcame it. Society not so much though. It haunts us forever.

    • WOW…I only spent 2 nights in the county-I was ror’d because I was due with my second child and that judge could see what it was all about-domestic violence. I had no restitution, just probation fines and was released 6 months early from my 3 year sentence. I tried to expunge and the judge is being, well lets just say hes being a dick and keeps on insisting that he will see me again. I will try for expungement in 4 years when I have my masters in social work with a concentration in dv…ugh its horrendous…

  4. Love the honesty here, Abby. But it makes me angry that there is a blanket response like that for all of time across all felonies. Especially when you are going to school and working your ass off. Grrr

    • Believe I know! The rules are flawed and although the employers always say that its not the reason, well I know that it is the reason. BUT as soon as I can get an expungement, I should be ok. I will be 40 but better late then never right?

      • Always better late than never.
        I’m trying to figure out how to say this in a way that doesn’t sound patronizing (because that is the worst) but we hire felons where I work and they are often the best people for the job because of their insights and experience. There ought to be more people who can appreciate this perspective.

      • That’s what I think-that’s why I am going to get my degree in social work. I mean who else but someone who’s been there to understand and deal with people. I get it better than many of the so-called-counselors. book smarts is one thing, but I have the experience to say-I get it, I have been there, and I can really help.

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