This past week has been
interesting chaotic. My oldest sons father was released from prison and although I never had any major issues with him in the past, I was interested on how this would change the dynamic of my family. I was open to being nice, and cooperative. I never told my son that his father was in Jailmaica, but explained that he has 2 daddies. 1 that lives at home, and 1 that is in school. I know lying isn’t good but I did not want my son to think that his sperm donor biological father was a total piece of shit bad. So me and said “dad” met up so I could talk to him. I wanted to know where his head was at. I wanted to let him know that I was raising MY son a certain way and I would appreciate he would be on the same page as I was.
I had a few set of rules:
- Decide to be either in or out of your sons life-and stick to that decision
- Get a real job and please do not sell drugs anymore
- Do not bring MY son around your shitty Latin King friends
- Start to help me or I will put you on child support.
- Please stay out of prison
I’m a real bitch huh? So on Sunday I set up a time and place and decided to let this happen. Joshua was so excited to meet his other dad. Truth be told, I was happy as well. I wanted this to work. I wanted this man to do the right thing and be a dad. All was going well. I let them go off and play and talk and then it happened. Sperm donor got too comfortable. He questioned my son. Behind my back. The first opportunity he had. He questioned my 6 year old about adult topics. The question was not a big deal-I would have told sperm donor what he wanted to know. I have nothing to hide, but he questioned my son. I let them finish the visit but I was angry.
When I got home I talked it over with my sons real father (ya know the one that has actually been raising him EVERY DAY SINCE HE WAS 2) and we were both pissed. So I called sperm donor-to be nice and ask him in the future that if he has questions about what goes on in my house that he should just please ask me and keep my son out of it. Well my friends as you can imagine, that did not go over well. He yelled and screamed and threatened. Ya see, in his opinion he has the right to make some rules. He can ask his son and do anything he wants. SIDE NOTE- THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT HAVE KIDS WITH GHETTO ASS PEOPLE. But I digress. It turned into a all out massive argument where he basically told me that if he ever heard anything that IN HIS OPINION was not right he was going to call the cops and DYFS. YES YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. This man-child who has spent a total of 3 hours and $0.00 raising my son has decided that he wants to make the rules. He has decided that it is irrelevant of what has gone on, in the last 6 years because as he says “I’m home now and I have a say in what happens.” He has also decided that I am too strict with my 6 year old and that I am hurting him by not exposing him to things like BET, and what happens on the streets. Because it is important for my 6 year old to know what it means to “make it rain” and “drop it like its hot”. Sperm Donor thinks my innocent child should be able to curse and not follow basic playground rules. Sperm Donor also was upset that I did not take my child to PRISON to visit his dad.
Am I totally surprised? Nah, not really. I mean, it would have been nice to see a little maturity, and real concern and not a display of male ego and chest puffing, but I am not surprised at all. When he brought up DYFS, the conversation was over. I do not deal well with threats. I have nothing to hide. I am raising my son to be a smart and respectful person. I do not need him to curse, spit, or act like an animal. He does not need to be around people that smoke weed or that are gang members. I want my child to be better than I am. I need him to be surrounded by people that are positive, and productive. Laywers, doctors, businessman. NOT drug dealers, Latin Kings, or jailbirds.