So its been a few weeks since my day in court, and I must say things in my house have calmed down-well as calm as a house with 3 kids, 2 cats, and a dog can be. I am getting all my ducks in a row-my associates degree is within reach, and I am preparing for the next step, my bachelors/masters program. I am so excited to be closing this chapter of my life and moving forward to my next adventure. It is scary, but I truly believe that there is no such thing as standing still in life. I have spent so much time not trusting my instinct, second guessing myself and truly not making the best decisions for me and the kids, so today I will tell you all about 80 summers.
Not a long time ago, I met someone that gave me a piece of information that I take with me every day. It has forever changed my life, and I am happy to pass this on to you. They said: You have only 80 summers to enjoy for your entire life (give or take). What are you going to do with the summers that you have left?
When I was told that, I was speechless (I know it doesn’t happen often). It seems so finite-80 summers. I look at my life, and realize that I am just about halfway through all the summers that I will ever have. I look back and think that as an adult and as a parent (lets say the last 8 years) I have only enjoyed 1 summer. I have only given my kids 1 fun and amazing summer. I am not only responsible for my 80 summers, but for at least 15-18 of my kids summers. How could I have been so selfish? How could I have not taken every opportunity to create and build memories that will last these children a lifetime? Do I want my kids to look back at their 80 summers and say, all we did was play video games, and go to day care? All we did was stay home and listen to my parents argue?
Absolutely not! I have taken active steps to make sure that for the most part I will be giving my kids, and myself memories that will impact them in a positive and joyful way. I want them (and myself) to be able to go on in life and take the simple lessons that will impact them in more ways than just a good time. I want them to understand that it is ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them and try not to repeat them. I want them to understand that they are not alone in this world, and that their actions can impact others, as well as the world as a whole. I need for them to see positive loving parental figures, even when in the background, there is a loss of love and understanding. It is not for them to know dysfunction (as much as I can prevent it). It is not for them to feel unsafe in their own home. I want and need them to take the lessons that I am teaching them, and pass them onto their own kids in the future-and they will. So it is up to me, and me alone to make sure that those lessons are ones of responsibility, respect, and love.
So now I have a mission bigger than my degree. I have a goal bigger then myself. I am dedicated to not only making the most of my next 40 summers, but to make the most of my kids summers as well.