Chasing Rainbows

Today my daughter caught me crying. I was laying face down on my newly made bed, crying into my blanket. She asked me what bracelet matched her outfit and I must not have wiped the tears fast enough. I picked the one I knew she wanted to wear, and she asked me quietly “Mom, why are you crying?” I thought fast and told her it was bc my house was messy (get it on when you can, right?)

But I lied. I lost a friend this weekend. I mean physically they are still alive, but our relationship has been forever changed.

Abby I really trying to be there. Once again I’m trying to be there. So you can have someone. To just feel like you have someone to call on forwhat ever you need.

And as nice as it sounds it’s just not possible. A text here and there yes, but to call for whatever I need is not plausable. And I understand. But I’m sad. I know it was coming. I knew this friendship had an expiration date, but when reality hit, it hit hard.

For that moment, my daughter caught me in mourning. Crying for what we have lost, crying for what could have been, and crying because I am facing a future without someone I thought would be there. Someone I could lean on when those hard days came.

And now the tears must be wiped away. It is time to face my new reality. It is time to show my daughter how strong, smart, and resilient her mom is. So baby girl, no more tears. No more regrets. From here on, we smile, we dance between the raindrops, and we chase our rainbows to our dreams.

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