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Playing house

I liked playing house with u.
I would close my eyes, pretend you were mine and this was our family.
I Iiked having you home with me at night.
Holding me
Comforting me.
Easing my fears.
Protecting me.

I liked playing house with you.
Even though it wasnt real.
Even though you weren’t mine.
I would look at you with my kids, and imagine what life could be if you were their dad.
Imagined what our baby girl would look like.

I liked playing house with you.
I pretended you wanted ME to be your peace.
I liked to close my eyes and dream of getting old with you
Watching our family
Growing our family
Creating our legacy.

I liked playing house with you
Even when you weren’t here
When I would cry myself to sleep
Holding my arms around my body pretending they were u.
Praying through quiet sobs
So no one could hear me
That when I woke up you would be here.

I liked playing house with you

But it is way to hard.
Wondering
Why not me
Am I not good enough
Not smart enough
Not kind enough
Not beautiful enough

I liked playing house with you
I wish it was real
I will forever search for you in everyone else
But it will be you I will always liked to play house with

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